After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i used baking grease as lip gloss
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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