that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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