I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
