I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
