hotel room ftw
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
