I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
