Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
