it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
