How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I faked an abortion last night.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Someone signed my nipple.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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