I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
