Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
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