it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I think I just sharted jello shots
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
