i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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