my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
