Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
