I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
