I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
