SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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