I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
