look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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