Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
