tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
