So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Let the clothes fall where they may.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
