The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
