i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
