what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Pants are for mortals
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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