Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
