The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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