sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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