just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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