Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
