what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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