i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize