I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize