you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
