Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
