I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize