You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She's not a foreskin expert like you
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
