you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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