Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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