I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize
