i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize