guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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