like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
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