We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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