I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
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