the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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