the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
