Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
how does that bad decision feel?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
