A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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