No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
My vagina is very pro this idea
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