Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
