Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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