I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
