And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Randomize
