4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
