I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize