imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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