I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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